


A Push in the Right Direction

by aerialsky



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Classic fic, F/F, cliches! everywhere!, happy fic, the whole crew!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7685563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerialsky/pseuds/aerialsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to Sareki for the inspiration for this: "A fic where Tom plays matchmaker between Janeway and B’Elanna. It would be a complete trope fest and totally mushy.  Tom tells them both to meet him in the holodeck to check out his new movie theater…and when the arrive B’Elanna and Janeway find that it’s just the two of them."  </p>
<p>I took that idea and ran with it!  </p>
<p>So, this first chapter is basically my way of getting B’Elanna into those boots from the episode Resistance and some hot leather trousers.  Yep.  They might not make it to the movie theater yet but I hope you enjoy the ride along the way!</p>
<p>This will be a whole-crew-effort story where everyone pitches in to get our lovely ladies together. :)</p>
<p>I also wanted to play with the idea that Seven is doing way better at socialising, developing her own brand of humour and hanging out with Tom and Harry way too much for her own good.  </p>
<p>This is a happy-fic where everyone is happy and nothing goes wrong.  I figure we all need these sometimes!  It’s going to be chock full of Voyager fic clichés and I’m not sorry!! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Push in the Right Direction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sareki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sareki/gifts).



> This is a work-in-progress. I don't normally post unfinished work, but I kinda needed a bit of a boost to continue... so here's me unashamedly asking for comments with ideas/encouragement!

The Captain and Torres were tucked away in a corner of the Messhall, talking animatedly about gel-packs of all things.  Seven and the Doctor had proposed injecting them with a modified form of Synaptizine to reinforce their nanofibers.  This would increase the data transfer efficiency thus reducing their power consumption by 7%. 

The sight of the two women installed behind a table overlooked by the viewport deep in conversation had ceased to be a novelty for the Voyager crew.  Most crewmembers managed to keep their observations down to the odd glance, usually when B’Elanna began wildly gesticulating about some scientific theorem or amazing new holoprogram idea she was developing, some, however, paid the oblivious couple a little more attention.

Seven and Harry were sitting at a central table when Tom joined them.

“So, what did you choose today?  The leola lasagna or the 9 spice “meat” loaf?”

“Neither.  I used my so-called Borg prerogative to…”, Seven smiled, “politely decline and opt for a nutritional supplement.  Harry, however, ‘chanced’ the meatloaf.”   She then eyed the plate with no little disgust.

“And?  How’d that go?” 

“It was… well, it was acceptable actually.  Maybe you shoulda tried it Seven.  Besides, I thought you said you’d cut down on those Borg shakes.”

“These _Borg shakes_ are sometimes the only thing that stands between Neelix and an unfortunate spatula-related incident.” 

Harry swallowed… he still couldn’t always tell when Seven was joking. 

“Relax, Harry, I just saw Neelix alive and well, in fact he was singing some kind of Talaxian tale about good health and vigour.  Apparently this meatloaf is a traditional dish served at hunts on the Thorulian homeworld.  And well, if that’s not a reason to give it a try, I don’t know what is. I’m going to get some, I’ll be right back.”

“Your human penchant for exploration never ceases to amaze me.”  Seven quipped.

She watched on as Tom engaged in a lively chat with Neelix about hunting techniques before returning to the table with his tray.

 “So, how long have they been chatting this evening?” Tom nodded towards the corner as he sat down.

“B’Elanna and the Captain arrived approximately 24 minutes ago and have been engaged in conversation for the entire time.” 

“I see.  It’s looking pretty cosy from where I’m sitting.”

**

“So, with these modifications, we’ll be significantly saving on our power output through the packs.  That’ll leave us with a bit of juice for other projects.”  Janeway couldn’t help but smile at B’Elanna’s choice of words.  Where previously she had hidden her appreciation behind the rim of her trusty coffee cups, these days her smiles came all too frequently so she gave up on trying to hide it.  She caught B’Elanna’s eye and they shared an amused glance: the engineer played up to it these days, trying to elicit joy in her Captain.  These moments of relaxation were so rare, if B’Elanna could coax that smile out more, then, honestly, she’d do anything to try. 

B’Elanna looked down to input calculations on her PADD. “Right, so, we can get another 1.2% of power out of the old girl,” B’Elanna affectionately stroked the nearest bulkhead, “It might not sound like much, but it’s enough to make some nice dilithium savings per month, which I think we can all be thankful for, plus we can potentially update another ship system.  Right now, she’s in top shape.  Seven’s shield mods from last month have ironed out that glitch down in deflector control, the warp drive is humming after the last dilithium injection we gave her…. I almost can’t think of a department that really needs attention.  For once, we’re actually all good.” 

Janeway scrolled through the PADD of departmental reports.  “You know, you might be right.  I didn’t think this was actually possible.  The Delta Quadrant Gods of Fortune must be smiling on us… I just hope it lasts.”  She offered with her customary crooked smile.

“Soooo… you know what this means?!” 

“I’m all ears, Chief.”

“We could actually increase replicator rations!  I figure we could allot extra to the crew once every fortnight!”  In her excitement, B’Elanna had drawn the attention of most of the messhall and almost jumped up out of her seat as she eagerly grabbed a PADD to start inputting the calculations.  “Yes! Look!  We could allocate an extra two rations every 15 days!” 

“Lanna!  Sit down! Let’s not get everyone excited before we’ve figured this out OK?”   Janeway rest her hand on B’Elanna’s arm, absent mindedly stroking very slightly as she checked out to see if the crew had overheard the chief’s exclamation.   Little did she know that topic number 1 shipwide had shifted from the daily moan about lack of rations or the odd barter for more among crewmates, to a simmering speculation about the Captain and her Chief Engineer.  Are they or aren’t they?  They must be.  The Captain hasn’t spent as much time with a crewmember since… well, ever.  Look at how she smiles at her.  The chief has never been so pumped.  If they’re not, they should be already. 

“OK OK, sorry, but can you imagine?!”  This was all almost too much for the Chief.  The sensory overload of Janeway’s hand still lingering on her arm, the prospect of an extra couple of rations: today was a good day to be alive she thought and grinned.   “What would you spend them on?!  Come on, let’s at least indulge ourselves this once.  A woman’s gotta dream a little right?!  So, what’d it be?”

“Well…” the Captain began, taking up her coffee mug in both hands and adopting an almost conspiratorial pose, leaning in.  “I suppose it is too unimaginative to say I’d treat myself to an extra carafe of Blue Mountain on reports day?”

“Yup, definitely too unimaginative.” B’Elanna’s eyes shined with the implied challenge.

“OK.  How about a bottle of the 2371 vintage Pinot Noir after a hard day?”

“That’s a bit better… but still, pretty small fry.  There’s gotta be something that you wish you could allow yourself to replicate, but always deny yourself.  Now you could save up for a few weeks and get something you really want!”

“Sounds like you’ve got something in mind for yourself, Chief.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.   I’ve been working on the holodeck for past few weeks on a project.  I created a program of an ancient Klingon bat’leth blacksmith.  I’ve been working on the art of forging bat’leths with the aim of recreating the bat’leth first forged by Kahless in the 9th century.”

“Incredible, Lanna.  Tell me more.”  Janeway settled in for the story, tucking her leg under her and leaning in.

“Well, ah…,” B’Elanna was still thrown slightly by the unwavering gaze of a fascinated Kathryn Janeway, “it’s a multi-stage process.  I’m actually already near the end, just the finishing touches now and it’ll be ready for its first outing.  Stage one involved smelting the alloy.  In this case, it was a baakonite alloy that was heated to 1200C in a furnace.  Then, you take the alloy and begin the process of forming the bat’leth.  The alloy is heated to 900C and hammered out into a panel.  You then fold that panel and beat it again; I did that 7 times.  There’s actually a 7 verse Klingon ritual poem that accompanies this stage.  Each folding has its own spirit and each verse accompanies a particular spirit, bringing the 7 spirits together in one harmonious flow, thus providing the unbreakable strength of the bat’leth itself.”

“Fascinating.  What comes next?!”  Janeway was enthralled.

 “Now, all that remains is the polishing and finishing stage.”

“I’m impressed.  How long have you been working on this?” 

“This last project has taken me just over a fortnight, but I’ve been training with the Master for a couple of months now.”

“The Master?”

“I made a replica of the forge in Quin’lat.  It was home to the foremost bat’leth bladesmith to the Emperor, Tel’khaf.   You know, if you’d like, I could show you around?”

“I’d love that.”

“My next holodeck session is after my shift in a few days’ time.  Well, Delta Quadrant permitting anyway.”  B’Elanna said with a grin.

“Well, I really hope our luck continues, because this is an experience I really don’t want to miss.”

**

“Wow, what are they talking about over there?  Seven, you pick anything up?”

“Mr. Paris, you know full well that I refrained from intentionally using my Borg enhancements in personal matters months ago.”  Seven levelled one of her trademark stern looks at Tom with absolutely no effect.  He’d grown immune to them when he realised that she had starting using the stern façade as a cover for her _soft mushy centre_ as he called it.

“Shame, looks like we’re missing out on some juicy stuff.  The Captain is practically eating out of B’Elanna’s hand.  I’ve never seen Janeway look so… enraptured.” 

“Tom, what’s going on in that head of yours?  I’m not sure I like where this is going…”  Harry cautioned.

“Indeed, Tom, the success rate of your various meddling in other people’s affairs is not in your favour.”  Seven added.

“Hey!  Who said I had anything in mind?”

“The look in your eye, your track record, the fact that your tapping your left foot on the deck… shall I go on?”  Harry offered.

“I agree, there is a correlation between the frequency at which you tap your left foot and your excitement level.  Usually at the prospect of one of your so-called _hair-brained schemes_.” 

“Right, so you guys have got me worked out.  But, the way I see it, they just need a little nudge in the right direction.  How hard can that be?!”

“It is clear that they have deep feelings for each other.  Even I do not need to collect gigaquads of data on love to see that.”  Seven said with a wry smile.  “However, I do believe that love does not usually welcome a third party influence.  Especially from you, Tom Paris.”

“Besides, what’s got you so into this?  I mean, no offence, but I thought you’d be more… I don’t know, upset about this?”  Harry said, clearly looking for explanation.

Tom paused before beginning, “B’Elanna and I broke up a while ago.  What we had was cool don’t get me wrong, but I soon realised it wasn’t love.  She didn’t love me.  Let me put it this way: B’Elanna never used to look at me like that.  I feel really lucky that we are still friends.  Now, call me an old romantic, but I love to see lovers get together.  And, they…, well they really deserve happiness.  Both of them.”

“Wow, Tom.  That’s, uh, pretty intense.  In a good way I mean, and yeah, you’re right.  I mean, I never thought about the Captain in that way if I’m honest but… you’re right.”  Harry flustered.

“I concur.  I have also held my own suspicions regarding the Captain’s feelings toward the Chief for some time now.   The incident with Crell Moset was a trying time for them both but also, I feel, the catalyst for both of them to examine their feelings for each other.”

“I thought B’Elanna was primed to kill the Captain after that!”  Harry blurted out. 

“I do believe the thought crossed her mind on numerous occasions.”

“And, it’s not like it’s the first time those two have nearly come to blows.  Remember the first year we were all stuck out here?   I wasn’t sure if they were going to slug it out or… well, you know.  And then, after that time when the crazy telepathic space beast  had us all fooled into thinking we’d found a wormhole to Earth… remember how the Captain and B’Elanna couldn’t seem to look each other in the eye after that little episode?  Something tells me that their visions didn’t just involve getting home to Earth, but being free to let their forbidden desire be unleashed!”

“You really missed your calling as a holo-author, Tom.”  Harry smiled.

“Oh, the holonovels I could write based on those two!”  Tom let out a whistle.

“Woah!  We’re talking about the Captain here!”  Harry looked visibly distressed.

“And that’s why it’s all the more important.  She’s way too much of a stickler for this anti-fraternisation rule.  I don’t know how she does it.  I mean, we all know she’s got nerves of steel.  We all went through a binary pulsar and lived to tell the tale… but, how she keeps a lid on her emotions… it would be more impressive if it wasn’t so unhealthy.”

“The Captain has formidable self-discipline and a strong sense of duty.  It is what makes her such a fine Captain.  However, it is also what allows her to suppress her emotions.  It is interesting that you should mention that entity, Tom.  After that incident, I approached her for one of our philosophical discussions about Earth and my desire of lack thereof to get there.  Throughout the course of our discussion, it seemed to me that a shift had occurred in her.  Yes, she is still determined to get this crew home, and she listed numerous points of interest that she would be glad to show me upon arrival there, and of course, she too has family there that she is desperate to be reunited with, but I also sensed a new quality in her thought processes.  She said that ‘home is where the heart is’ and pointed out that the crew was becoming more like a family.  That all of us had met people that had had a significant impact on our lives.”

“I know she’s going to get us back to Earth.  That’s what she’s going to do for us.  If we can help her find a little happiness on the way, I’m all for it.  What do you say?”  Tom looked at his lunch companions hoping their felt the same way.

“In principle, I agree with you.  However, I am unsure how you suggest that we proceed.”

“We’ll just have to come up with a good plan.”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”  Harry’s face held deep concern.

“We’ll be subtle…”

“You, subtle.” Harry cut in, “honestly, that’ll be the day.”

“OK, I won’t be subtle, but you know I can get away with it.  It’s all part of my boyish charm, Harry, my irresistible boyish charm.”

“Right, but if you end up with a broken nose as a result of either the Captain or, God forbid, B’Elanna finding out about all this, don’t come running to me, OK?”

“I am medic, Harry, I can patch myself up.  But really, this plan is already in motion, we’re just giving it a little push.”

“I suppose I should just be glad you’re not trying to set me up with someone for once.”

“About that!  Wow, funny you should mention it, but I was down in Hydroponics the other day… you know who works down there… “

“Tooooom!”  Harry groaned.

“Just sayin’.  She’s keen.  And cute.”

“Oh and I bet she loves the clarinet and Parrises Squares.”

“Yup and yup.”

“Really?!”

Seven looked on with amusement at Tom and Harry’s friendly bickering.  Before she retired for the evening, she cast one last glance at Torres and the Captain, wondering how on earth she might ‘give them a little push’ as Tom had suggested.

**

The Delta Quadrant continued to remain calm allowing Voyager’s crew the chance to relax a little.  The crew was in good spirits as they spent duty shifts making small modifications and upgrades as opposed to emergency rerouting or damage control. 

“Computer, locate Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is in her Ready Room.”

“Are there any other crewmembers present in the Ready Room?”

“Negative.”

“Perfect.”  B’Elanna smiled, “Torres to Janeway.”

“Janeway here.  Go ahead.”

“I just wanted to remind you about our trip to the Empire.”

“Ah yes, what time are you going to be there?”

“My slot starts at 2100 hours.  I’ll load it up and you can come by any time you want.  I’ve got an hour today.  By the way, I just thought I’d point out that there is a strict no-uniform policy.  Pretty sure the Master doesn’t appreciate Starfleet officers turning up… oh, and, it’s pretty hot in there.  What with the furnace running.  So, you’ll need to wear something a little more appropriate.”

“Understood.  See you at 2100 hours.  Janeway out.”

At around 2110, the doors of the holodeck opened to admit a slightly nervous Kathryn Janeway.  She stepped inside and began to take in her surroundings.  B’Elanna hadn’t been lying when she said it was warm.  She could hear sounds coming from the corner but couldn’t yet see B’Elanna.  She took the opportunity to have a look around. 

The room was sizeable but dark.  The red glow that was characteristically Klingon permeated the space.  There was a huge, lit furnace in the centre of the back wall, generating the heat in the room.  The side wall was lined with hooks carrying old bat’leths, various tools, and a portrait of Kahless on canvas.  In the centre of the room, there was what looked like a large anvil and another selection of tools.  The air had a metallic and earthy tang.  Kathryn was always fascinated how the holodeck had the ability to remove them from the daily realities of living aboard a ship with its clean, recycled air and efficient lines.   Here, the warmth of the furnace embraced her skin, and the smells and sounds took her to a deeper, more primal place.  Janeway smiled as she felt the mantle of command slowly ease from her shoulders in this foreign space.  She indulged her natural inclination to explore and had a closer look at the tools lain out on a long low table under the portrait. 

It was then that B’Elanna finally emerged from wherever she had been carrying a large oblong stone and placing it on the anvil.  Janeway turned, and the sight of B’Elanna took her breath away.  The Chief was wearing a white tank top and dark brown leather trousers teamed with lace-up knee-high boots.  She took a leather apron from a nearby hook and tied it around her waist completing the look.  Her hair was in curls and had been swept from her face and kept in place by a brown bandana.  Janeway knew she had to say something but for the life of her couldn’t think what.  Her skin tingled and she was sure she was blushing.  She silently thanked all known deities for the red glow in the room. 

“Oh, hey!  I didn’t hear you come in!”  B’Elanna smiled.

“I just got here.  I was having a little look around, but I could do with a tour.”  Janeway’s voice had taken on a rare, enticing quality.  The combination of the heat, the unfamiliar surroundings, and B’Elanna, yes, most of all, B’Elanna looking as sexy as she’d ever seen her rolled over her in waves.  For a while now, the long-dormant woman underneath the Captain’s discipline had been slowly coming to the surface around B’Elanna Torres, and that woman wanted to throw caution to the wind and enjoy the presence of an incredibly beautiful and intelligent woman.    

“Right, yeah, of course.”  Once again, B’Elanna was thrown a little off guard by the inviting tone and riveting gaze.  Not that B’Elanna minded one bit.  The Captain was an intense woman and the Chief liked that.  She liked that a lot.  The last few months had seen a marked transformation in the Lieutenant.  The experience on the Barge of the Dead had been one of many turning points in her life, this time, she hoped, for the better.  She drew a breath and began showing her fiery visitor around.

“This is the bat’leth I’ve been working on.”  She removed a rag covering the weapon and picked it up.  “It took me a while to get the balance and weight right.  I had to modify the original dimensions in the scriptures to my needs.  I made mine closer to 4.9 kilograms instead of the traditional 5.3, and slightly reduced the diameter of the grips.  It took some work, but I think I’ve perfected the balance.  Here, hold out your hands, face up.”

Janeway did so and B’Elanna held the bat’leth in place in her hands.  “Now, close your grip, and take the full weight.  What do you think?  Pretty good if I do say so myself!”  B’Elanna’s wide grin and pride in her eyes was infectious and quickly spread to the Captain. 

“I’m ashamed to say I’ve rarely handled a bat’leth.  It feels incredible though.  Such power,” Janeway met the Chief’s eyes again, “such beauty and finesse.”

“Here,” Torres placed her hands on the underside of the Captain’s, “I’ll show you the intricacies of the balance.”  

Standing in front of her Captain, she guided their hands in a gentle swaying motion demonstrating the lightness and ease of the bat’leth’s movements.

“You know, I used to think these things were crude, ineffective, a throw-back from the past.  Another sign that the Klingon Empire refused to move on and drop the centuries of tradition that I thought held them back.”  B’Elanna continued.

“What changed your mind?” 

“Tuvok.  As strange as that sounds.  During my experiences with the Barge of the Dead, his likeness had a few stern words for me about neglecting to see the elegance of bat’leth design.  We’ve incorporated combat with bat’leth into our martial arts training, in fact.”

“Care to show me some moves?”

“Sure.”  B’Elanna took the bat’leth and walked over to a free space.  Her pose became leonine and predatory as she stalked round the area.  She held the bat’leth vertically, guarding her torso.  Suddenly, she wielded the weapon and spun it over her head in a swift, clean motion.  She passed it easily between her two hands, never leaving herself vulnerable to attack.  It was beauty in motion.  The muscles of her arms flexed with the movements.  Her face was a picture of intense determination but also revealed a kind of inner peace and calm, as if she was in meditation. 

The Captain was mesmerized.  Her heartrate picked up as she witnessed her beautiful engineer move with such prowess and skill.  She watched B’Elanna’s fingers grip and release the weapon, saw the play of muscles on her back and watched her precise footwork across the dusty floor.

B’Elanna slowed her movements and finally placed the bat’leth on the anvil.  “This bat’leth’s not actually finished yet, so there might have been a few moments where I was out of balance…”

“No, Lanna, that was beautiful.”  Janeway cut in.  “I’ve never seen anything like it.  It was intense.  You were so focused, but the sense of calm radiating from you was also palpable.  Truly, that was one of the most remarkable things I’ve witnessed.”

“I don’t know what to say… thank you.”  There was a vivid light shining in the engineer’s eyes.  She was keyed up and she wanted more.  “Do you want me to show you a couple of the basic moves?”

There was a momentary hesitation before Janeway stood up and accepted the offer.

“I haven’t practiced martial arts since the Academy, mind, you’ll have to take it slow.”

“Oh, I can do slow too.” Torres replied in a throaty voice.

The sound of the engineer’s deepening voice sent a thrill down Janeway’s spine.  She knew she was enjoying this too much, but couldn’t face stopping now.

“Then, by all means, let’s take it slow, Chief.  Just tell me what to do.”  They locked gazes for a moment: Torres to check that the Captain was really doing this, really flirting with her, and Janeway to earnestly convey her willing participation.

“OK, take the bat’leth, this time grip it with downturned palms and hold it directly ahead of you.  That’s right.  Now, spread your legs a little, you need a firm foundation for optimum balance.”  B’Elanna circled the Captain, appraising her stance and form.  In front of her, she placed her hands on Janeway’s shoulders, “you need to relax your shoulders.  Strength in battle comes from flexibility.  Lower your shoulders.  That’s better.  You’re still pretty tense though.”

“It’s called captaining a starship in the Delta Quadrant I believe.” 

“We’ll have to do something about that, but not right now.  Anyway, your shoulders are looking much better.  Slightly bend your elbows, just a touch.”  B’Elanna walked around behind the Captain and placed her hand on the lower back.  “These muscles here need to be strong.  They are key to the positioning of the pelvis.  The pelvis is your anchor, your stability.”  She slowly came closer to the Captain, ever so slightly moving her hand down while reaching round with her other hand to place it lightly on the Captain’s stomach.  From here, she could speak directly into the Captain’s ear.  “Focus on bringing the pelvis into alignment with your upright position.  Here, follow my guide.”  With the minutest of pressure, B’Elanna gently moved her Captain into position and rested her hands on her hips.  “Perfect.” 

Neither woman knew or cared as to whether Torres was referring to Janeway’s posture for battle or just complimenting Janeway’s exquisite body.  They were both lost in the moment, enjoying the energy between them.   

Drawing away slightly, B’Elanna took hold of the Captain’s upper arms from behind and guided her left arm up and bringing the bat’leth into the vertical position she had displayed her.  “Here, the bat’leth should primarily rest in your right hand.  It should take most of the weight while you reposition you left hand to perform the over-head spin.  Let’s, uh, not attempt that right now.  I kinda still want my head intact.  I suggest we practice the motion from horizontal to vertical a couple of times.  I’ll guide you the first time, then you try independently, OK?”

“Mmhmm” was about all the Captain could muster, as she felt B’Elanna wrap her in an embrace from behind.  The heat of the room, the heat from B’Elanna’s body was soaking into her every pore, causing a light sheen of sweat to cover her skin. 

She shivered when B’Elanna left her side to try out the move on her own, sending goose pimples running along her arms and a delicious electricity thrumming through her body.  There was a lightness to her that she rarely felt.  Her poise on the bridge during battle was often borne of her muscles priming for action, a grim determination and sheer force of will.  Now, however, she felt a freedom of movement, an inner source of power, just from performing the most simplest of exercises.  She completed the series of moves and slowly lowered the bat’leth to her side.  She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the sensation of drawing deep, calming breaths.  B’Elanna was leaning on the table, just watching her.

“You’re something else, Kathryn Janeway, something else.” She let out with a breath, smiling openly.

An uncharacteristic shyness seemed to take over Janeway momentarily and she looked down briefly before lifting her gaze to meet her engineer’s.

“Thank you, B’Elanna.  I haven’t felt so invigorated for a long time.”

In that moment Janeway looked so different from the formidable Captain of Voyager.  She had begun to briefly shed her rank, to simply be, to become equal, to take delight in learning from someone else.  There was nothing B’Elanna wanted more than to see this side of Kathryn open up further but her instincts told her that what had occurred this evening was winding to a close.  Going against her fiercely beating heart, she managed to keep her reply neutral.  “You’re welcome.  Now, though, unfortunately, my hour’s up.  Do you need to freshen up?  There’s a small sink round behind that screen.”

“I think I’ll just get back to my quarters.” A small flicker of inner conflict seemed to play on her features before she managed to rein it in.  “Have a good evening, B’Elanna.  Computer.  Arch.”  And with that, she left the holodeck and a worked up Torres in her wake.

Upon reaching her quarters, she finally allowed the smile to take hold of her elegant features as the door slipped closed.  Slightly shaking her head in amused disbelief, she went to the sofa by the viewport, sat and rested her head in her hands.  She could smell B’Elanna on her clothes.  “What am I going to do now?” she mumbled to herself before finally rising to take a bath and do her best to forget the feeling of B’Elanna’s arms wrapped around her, her dark eyes shining with desire, her controlled strength… it was going to be a long night.

The next morning, as she woke, Janeway let her feelings for B’Elanna wash over her, her heart skipped, her whole body was infused with a deep, intense energy, her fingers tingled and she couldn’t help but grin.  The beginnings of acceptance were stealing into her mind in the early morning hour before she got up, got dressed and became the Captain responsible for every crewman on a vessel lightyears from Earth.  Too bad the Borg weren’t out there; she felt like she could take on the universe and win.   She slowly rose and went to her ensuite.  _Kathryn, you haven’t felt this way for a long, long time_. She thought to herself, as she regarded herself in the mirror.  Her lips were curled into a smile of their own volition, her eyes were bright with joy and there was an unmistakable sense of energy around her.  “Yeah, and there are rules and regulations that forbid these feelings.” She replied to herself aloud.  “I am the Captain.”  She added with steel in her voice.  “Act like it.”  She sighed.  She then replicated a fresh uniform and put it on.  With each pip she adorned, she felt her resolve grow.  She could do this.  She took one last look at herself in the mirror to see the Starfleet Captain looking back at her.  “That’s more like it.”  She nodded to herself and left her quarters.

On the bridge, however, Janeway felt like a coiled spring.  Her feelings threatened to bubble up and spill over and she was doing her best to force them back down.  The Delta Quadrant was still as calm as a millpond.  Even Seven’s scans hadn’t discovered any potential threats in the upcoming sectors.  Tom and Harry had started a conversation about the Intercultural Spring Festival. She had tried to pay attention but failed.  Her thoughts ceaselessly returned to the evening before and her body grew restless.  Finally, she decided to retire to her Ready Room.  She could pace to her heart’s content behind closed doors.

“Come.”

Chakotay entered the Ready Room some time later to find the Captain sitting on her sofa looking intensely out of the viewport.  That she didn’t have a PADD or even a coffee to hand meant that something was up.  She turned to face Chakotay and attempted to paste a business-like expression on her face.  “What can I do you for, Commander?”

“Oh, I was just bringing in this week’s departmental reports.  You’ll be glad to know they are relatively short this time around.  It seems Voyager really is the happiest ship in the Quadrant right now.” He offered with a genuine smile.

“That’s great.  Can you leave them on my desk?” her voice was somewhat lacklustre.

“How come it looks like you just sat through one of the Doc’s lectures about dust mites in a vacuum?”  He stepped closer to the steps.  “May I?” He gestured to the sofa.

“Of course!  Would you like a tea, coffee?  I think I’ll have a cup.”

“I’ve have a Bajoran tea, thanks.”

She returned to the seating area, placed the two beverages on the table and sat back down, laying her arm along the back of the sofa. 

“So, what’s got you looking like you’re a million lights years away?” He ventured.

“Oh, you know me, I just get a bit restless when things are quiet.  I’m not about to go hunting down the Borg though, don’t worry.” 

“Well, that’s good to hear.  Makes my job a little easier.  Though, it still looks like I might have to get our Morale Officer involved.”  He teased.

At that, Janeway finally laughed.  She rested her head on the back of the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.  “I just need a bit of distraction, that’s all.”  She said absent-mindedly.

“Distraction from what?”  Chakotay tested the waters and was heartened to see the small smile break momentarily free and the faint blush appear on his Captain’s cheeks but dismayed to see her school her features and formulate an appropriate response.

She opted for playful and melodramatic in an attempt to steer the conversation onto familiar ground, “From the emptiness of space, the light years that stretch on ahead…” she said with flair turning her head to face the Commander. 

Unluckily for her, Chakotay was determined to steer the conversation in the direction of a certain fiery engineer 9 decks below.  He knew the real source of her consternation but for the meantime, he decided to play along with Janeway’s own façade.  “Hmm.  It does certainly sound like you need a distraction.  Maybe I really should get Neelix on the case.”

“You wouldn’t dare!  I’m not in need of a cheer-up-Captain-Janeway party just yet.”  

Chakotay couldn’t help but smile at his Captain’s distress.  “Relax.  He’s too busy organizing the Intercultural Spring Festival coming up next month.   Still, that leaves you with the task of finding some distraction of your own.  Have you run any interesting holodeck programs lately?” He asked.

Again, Janeway couldn’t help but smile as she recalled her time with B’Elanna.  She felt a flash of pleasure that made her heart beat a little faster as she recollected B’Elanna’s touch and proximity.  Again, she managed to bring her response under control and leaned forward to pick up her coffee mug.  She carefully considered her response. “You know, the usual.  A few Velocity games with Seven, I visited the Maestro a couple of times… but we, ah, had a difference of opinion and he kicked me out and I’ve been to Fair Haven a couple of times, but…” she paused momentarily and looked down into her coffee mug, “let’s just say that while it was a lovely relaxing place, I didn’t find anything to really distract myself with there.”

The argument between the Captain and the Maestro intrigued Chakotay but he decided to file it away to ask about later.  He forged on with what he knew about the Fair Haven program.  “It’s interesting.   Not all the crew seem to love Fair Haven as it would appear.  I’ve not seen B’Elanna in there for more than 5 minutes.”  The truth was, he’d seen B’Elanna enter, see Janeway chatting with Michael Sullivan, go decidedly pale, turn and leave.  He’d done his best to quell the subsequent rumours that Janeway “had fallen in love with a hologram” that circulated the lower decks.  He knew full well that the Captain hadn’t fallen in love, well, not with a hologram anyway.  He surmised that she had just thrown herself headlong into the program in an attempt to divert her feelings into what she felt was an appropriate direction.  The Doctor had even encouraged her.  At one of his boxing sessions with B’Elanna, he’d casually mentioned the Captain and Fair Haven and earned a right hook from B’Elanna to the training pad he was holding that nearly took his arm off.  

At the mention of B’Elanna in connection with Fair Haven, Janeway couldn’t help but react.  Chakotay saw a brief but flash of emotion in her eyes, he guessed a mix of guilt and regret, before a general melancholy settled over her features.  “I suppose it doesn’t seem the kind of thing she would be interested in.” 

Chakotay thought of how carefree Janeway had seemed in Fair Haven.  How she had smiled, laughed, and enjoyed herself.  Too bad she wouldn’t allow herself the same with a certain crewmember.  He looked at Kathryn now, racked with inner turmoil, and wished she might allow herself the same freedoms in her own life.   “You know, maybe you’re looking in the wrong place.  Fair Haven is nice.  I’m sure Michael Sullivan was _nice_ but, Kathryn, you’re a woman with deep emotions and an intensely passionate nature.” Chakotay paused to gauge the Captain’s reaction.  He was in dangerous territory, one step too far and the Captain could easily dismiss him from her ready room.  Though he didn’t like seeing his friend so pensive, he was also glad she hadn’t reacted negatively to his tentative attempts at having this deeply personal conversation.  “You need more than just _nice_.  You also need the real deal.  You’ve got a vivid imagination and a flair for the dramatic: we’ve all seen you negotiate your way out of sticky situations out here in the Delta Quadrant,” Chakotay smiled with humour in his eyes then quietly added “but, you can’t trick yourself into loving a hologram.”

There was a pause.  Janeway stared into the bottom of her empty coffee mug, gathering her thoughts. “I thought I could.” She finally admitted looking up at Chakotay.  “You know, I really thought I could.  I thought it would be a safe alternative.  A bit of relief.  Something to, just, take my mind off things for a while.” 

“A safe alternative to what?” Chakotay gently asked, slightly afraid it was too direct. 

“A safe alternative to going stir crazy! To being completely alone out here.  To…”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but that’s not the whole story is it?”

“Chakotay, I’m a Starfleet Captain of a ship stranded lightyears from home!”

“Kathryn, I don’t think it’s this situation you’re running from this time, but someone on board.”  

“Chakotay, I… oh God, I don’t know what to do.”

At that, he drew her into a hug, remaining silent until she chose to speak again. 

“I really don’t know what to do, you know, and don’t say go down there, tell her I love her and dance off into the sunset, you know that’s impossible.”

Chakotay couldn’t help but smile.  He was so glad he’d been right all along.  Now, he just had to figure out how to convince her that the ship would still fly at warp if its Captain had a relationship.  Janeway released herself from his arms and looked across at him.  “What are you smiling about?!”  She looked amused and annoyed in equal measure.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy that we even got to this point in the conversation.  I was so sure you’d show me the door after I mentioned B’Elanna.”

“So, you knew all along, huh?”

“You two are my closest friends on board.  I’d have to be blind not to notice, Kathryn.”

“And now you’re about to tell me that I can throw Starfleet principles out the airlock?”

“Well…”

“Or, you’re going to tell me that this wouldn’t be the first time for that either?”

“We’ve been on this ship for 6 years, Kathryn.  I’d say the brief’s changed.  Yes, we’ve upheld Starfleet principles and, yes, I believe that has been a fundamental part of the glue that has held us together or, rather, kept the ship running.  But, the nature of our predicament requires more than just Starfleet discipline.  We’re a family.  The bonds we share allow us to go beyond the call of duty, endure more than a normal crew.  Our relationships are a source of strength.  We’re alone out here; we need to draw on our own inner strength to pull through the situations we face on a daily basis.  And what’s more, as a family, we all want the best for each other.  There is no one on this ship that wants you to suffer.  No one.  The anger that was present in our first year out here has dissipated.  I can tell you that, after a rocky start, the former Maquis crewmembers are thriving, enjoying the chance to prove themselves and progress.  As for the Starfleet crew, yes there may not be any rank promotions out here, but they have the chance to encounter phenomena and alien species that no one back in the Alpha Quadrant has even dreamed about.  It might sound strange, but I don’t think anyone would give up this opportunity now.  If you need any more proof, ask Seven, or Icheb, Mezoti, Azan, Rebi…”

“OK, OK!  I see your point.  I just, I don’t know, Chakotay.  The crew might have relinquished their negative feelings about our being stranded here, granted, but they still need an objective leader.  They need to know that they are in safe hands.  They need to know that I’m willing to choose the best people for a job, not play favourites.”

“Kathryn, I don’t think your feelings for B’Elanna developed overnight.  I saw the strain you put your relationship with B’Elanna under with your decision regarding the Moset hologram.  As far as I see it, you put your feelings aside and did what was best for the ship as Captain.  We can’t afford to lose our best engineer.”

“So, I should just count myself lucky I fell for a ‘ _non-expendable crew member’_ , is that it?  Chakotay, I was just lucky that time that the good of the ship and my own personal feelings coincided.”

“You and I both know there are no expendable crew members on this ship.  I believe you would have made the same decision for any one member of this crew, regardless of their position on board.  What I mean is, you put your personal relationship with B’Elanna at stake for the sake of the ship.  If that doesn’t show objectivity, I don’t know what does.”

“I saved B’Elanna because I couldn’t face living on this ship without her.  Her engineering abilities were a distant second.   Honestly Chakotay, it was a lucky coincidence that it was also beneficial to the ship.”

“OK, maybe I’ve been going at this the wrong way.  Let’s not look at the decision, but the fall-out.  I saw how difficult it was for you knowing that B’Elanna resented your decision.”

Kathryn let out a sharp breath, then slowly took a deep breath in an attempt to regain control over her emotions.  “Seeing her so full of anger, and that anger being directed at me afterwards almost broke me.  I wanted to tell her then, tell her that it wasn’t a command decision but a personal one, but I couldn’t.  I hid, Chakotay.”

“It was an impossible situation but you got through it.  It was a deeply emotional time for both of you, but neither of you neglected duty for a second.  If you can get through those kinds of lows, breezing through the highs should be a walk in the park!  Besides, you’ve got me and Tuvok to keep you on the straight and narrow!”  Chakotay grinned.

Janeway finally smiled too. “I don’t doubt that!  I can’t believe I’m considering this.  I must be mad.”   

“Madly in love…” Chakotay teased.

“Don’t push it, Chakotay!” The Captain couldn’t help but smile, some of the weight lifted from her shoulders.   “Now, didn’t you say there were some departmental reports waiting for us both?  I’ll replicate some coffee and we can tackle those. What do you say?”

“Aye aye, Captain!” 


End file.
